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Living Spiritually - by upma

May You - good will for all

Let your heart and spirit rejoice
Live Your LIfe!


May You live to see love in your childrens eyes

May you live to see each dawn at sunrise

May you know the wonder of life each day


May you remember joy and happiness

May you be able to grieve when you are sad

May you be able to express how you feel

May you feel at peace when you are standing still

May you know God as you concieve him to be

May you learn and remember the good times

May you learn from the bad

May you rest your heart quietly at night

May you know grace and serenity

May you know the graciousness of giving

May you know the kindness in caring

May you live to see the love that is in life...

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Grief and Belief..why here and now?

What the hell am I still doing here? Why do I put up with this? Why the...bloody hell…just why?? Questions always unanswered, never knowing where the next meeting will be …how come.

Look into the mirror! Lifting my tear streaked face to look into the blasted bathroom mirror. Looking in to the mirror – will it show my soul? Will it help cleanse the pain? What will the face of grief look like?

Standing up, using the hand basin as support, I raised my tear drenched face to the looking glass. Oceans of tears flowed through blood red eyes, wrinkles forming as the tears continued to flow, shadows of night under the eyes, from days and nights of no sleep. This is the face of grief, my grief. Shattered and torn, my soul and spirit were ripped into the endless chasm of dark, where the light when thrown into the abyss never reaches the end. Swirling down and sucking everything into the never ending cycle of the black hole. Echoed this into eternity and you have a taste of the grief affecting my very existence.


How does one combat a pain so all consuming, it is like a great furnace. A furnace where the fire is so strong, the slightest piece of fuel, a twig, will be enough to keep the flame alive. No matter what one does to stop the pain, alcohol, sleep, a million and one distractions, nothing works.

Somewhere there is a knocking, a gentle tugging. Something in my soul, a hand caressing my heart, somehow my pain is not as strong. Slowly the memories come back ..opening the memory banks ..once open the memories come flooding back. Years, eons of the good the bad, the ugly and beautiful. Our children, wedding, when we first met, so much more! The first time we kissed and came together. The challenges we faced and so much more.

The tears are not so fierce and my eyes are getting a sparkle to them. Amidst the darkness, there is light. A gentle flame, which is coming into the night, lighting the embers of my heart. Belief, belief is coming back. Belief that all will be ok. Belief that we are ok. Somehow we will work through this period in our lives.

I have lived and faced the possibility of losing you – forever and ever. Alive or dead, grief is all encompassing and somehow, through the layers of darkness, light shows a way. A time to sit and meditate, to reflect and get to know this person that is and now the people we have become.

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Interlude

It's been rightly suggested that some of this series sounds a little preachy. Yes, it's obvious that it is. To the best of my knowledge, this pamphlet, "The Four Absolutes", was written in the 30's or 40's with the full backing of AA. From that, the conclusion I draw is that it was written by a thoughtful person who way trying to make life better than it had been for him (the wording suggests it was written by a man).

Perhaps some of you subscribe to the tenants of Twelve Step programs, perhaps some of you think they're a bunch of crap. Whatever your feeling, it's honored here. The Twelve Step programs are a personal choice; for many, the only choice. I'm neither for nor against any of them. I must, however, acknowledge some of the wisdom attached to them and, when I come across anything I think might help people, I will share.

While I welcome the opportunity to share this wisdom with you, there are pangs of guilt that you might think I'm trying to shove ideas down your throats. As I said before, the intent is only to share the wisdoms of others.










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More On The Absolutes

Page Three of the Phamphlet.

The Absolutes

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The Four Absolutes

I was being a little lazy and a lot sick by posting only when Spirit moved. Spirit has moved me back to where I should be. I'll go back to The Prophet, but first, let me share this with you.

This is a booklet/phamphlet once published by Alcohlics Anonymous. It's little known now; may you enjoy its wealth.

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Freedom: The Strongest Chain

And an orator said, "Speak to us of Freedom". And he answered:

"At the city gate and by your fireside I have seen you prostrate yourself and worship your own freecom, even as slaves humble themselves before a tyrant and praise him though he slays them. Ay, in the grove of the temple and in the shadow of the citadel I have seen the freest among you wear their freedom as a yoke and a handcuff. And my heart bled within me; for you can only be free when even the desire of seeking freedom becomes a harness to you, and when you cease to speak of freedom as a goal and a fulfillment.

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In The Sunlight, In The Wind

And the weaver said, Speak to us of Clothes. And he answered:

"Your clothes coneal much of your beauty, yet they hide not the unbeautiful. And though you seek in garments the freedom of privacy you may find in them a harness and a chain. Would that you could meet the sun and the wind with more of your skin and less of your raiment, for the breath of life is in the sunlight and the hand of life is in the wind.

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With A Great Voice . . . . . . . . He Spoke Of Love

And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:

"When love beckons to you, follow him, though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

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Giving And Receiving Of Pleasure

Then a hermit, who visited the city once a year, came forth and said, Speak to us of Pleasure. And he answered saying:

"Pleasure is a freedom song,

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Not Teaching, But Leading

Then said a teacher, 'Speak to us of Teaching'. And he said:

"No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowledge. The teacher who walks in the shadow of the temple, among his followers, gives not of his wisdom but rather of his faith and his lovingness. If he is indeed wise he does not bid you enter the house of his wisdom, but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind. The astronomer may speak to you of his understanding of space, but he cannot give you his understanding. The musician may sing to you of the rhythm which is in all space, but he cannot give you the ear which arrests the rhythm nor the voice that echoes it. And he who is versed in the science of numbers can tell of the regions of weight and measure, but he cannot conduct you thither. For the vision of one man lends not its wings to another man. And even as each of you stands alone in God's knowledge, so must each one of you be alone in his knowledge of God and in his understanding of the earth."

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upma's Blogs

I have no other blogs :(
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