Living Spiritually - by upma

Overwhelmed and confused
as left me lost and cold,
this story I have to tell
to no one, has been told.

I'm a woman of steel
though bound by sacred ties,
I smile away the tears
and live within the lies.
My love has slowly faded
I haven't the strength to cry,
though I vow to try my hardest
and give it one last try.
I pull you very close
and whisper that I love you,
is this the way I feel
or only what I'm use to?
Everyday a constant struggle
I feel not the warmth of the sun,

when I stop to take a breath
a new day had begun.
I know that I'm not happy
this truth I do deny,
I wish that I was strong enough
to kiss your lips goodbye.
I try to fight my way through this
this constant emtional game,
I can say that I "feel"
but can't say I feel the same.
I try to make it easier
to do what everyone feels is "right",
I guess if everyone else is happy
I can deal with the fight.
I smile away the discomfort
and hide the way I feel,
I play the strong one for your sake
for I'm a Woman of Steel...

So now we start all over
a long this path, we both have been,
it's because I'm afraid of the dark
that brings me willing to play again.
I'll stand by your side
and say what you need to hear,
as again I face of the confusion
and hide from what I fear.
I know not what will make me happy
of if I ever will,
the child in me wants to run
but I remain this Woman of Steel...
I'll laugh and I'll smile
and return some sort of affection,
I'll struggle to keep you happy

and not notice my signs of rejection.
I'll sit right beside you
and be dazzled by your charms,
you'll say that you are happy
to just have me in your arms...
I'll try to keep my head afloat
pretending to be dazzled by your charms..
knowing the one I hold within my heart
is not the one that's in my arms...